Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Monday, 30 March 2009
Ancient China fucktime was bullshit for dudes
Chou Dynasty - 770 BC to 222 BC
Apparently wanking for guys was seen as unhealthy and forbidden where as chicks could scrape hole freely as they were said to have an unlimited yin as opposed to dudes 'limited yang'
Lezzing it up was therefore totally cool apperently and happened a lot but guys boning guys never happened because it was considered a complete loss of yang essence on the part of both men as apposed to being chick where you had unlimited yin so could fuck any one anytime at no loss of soul.
Conclusion: being a dude in ancient Chine SUCKED - unless you were Genghis Kahn and you probably just fucked everyone then killed them or killed everyone and then fucked them.
or fucked them whilst killing them
or something.
was he even chinese? i don't know
I'm a purist so I prefer to serve it up raw straight from chamber to face but if you have to fuck with it then this new book is deal. pricey though.
Description:
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!
THIS IS TOO WRONG EVEN FOR SEX PARTY
Getting toddlers to slide out the end of a giant coloured johnson is pretty weird isn't it?
Is this a massive sculpture promoting paedophilia? I hope so.
It reminds me of that amazing joke:
Q: Whats the main cause of paedophilia in Britain today?
A: Sexy kids.
Is this a massive sculpture promoting paedophilia? I hope so.
It reminds me of that amazing joke:
Q: Whats the main cause of paedophilia in Britain today?
A: Sexy kids.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Friday, 13 March 2009
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE...
Imagine coming home from work early and finding this motherfucker sessioning your GF...
His name is Keith David and he pretty much is the personification of sex party.
Whenever my friend Alex sees the scene from Requiem for a Dream where his character (called 'Big Tim' BTW) macks the chick in exchange for bad horse drugs, he spazzes out and literally can't stop thinking about this giant gap toothed sex machine pummeling his better half with his throbbing black sausage. Maybe in the butt too, I'm not sure.
Anyway, the film ends, as I'm sure you know with (Maid) Marion doing an extreme sex party with another chick and a double sided dildo in front of loads of crazy businessmen type dudes who are alarmingly rowdy in what Big Tim describes as 'Ass to Ass'. It's pretty wrong.
But the bit that's about 300 million times scarier is earlier on when she goes round to his house for the 1st time and the T man unbuttons his flies and pops out his gargantuan johnson right next to her face. Then because she's a bit hesitant, he says.......
"I know it's pretty baby but I didn't get it our for air!"
WHAT THE FUCK? HE IS NOW PRESIDENT OF SEX PARTY.
Anyway, next time you watch that scene try to not imagine your girlfriend doing deep throat on that fucker whilst tears of pain stream from her eyes, you won't be able to. I have now passed the curse onto you.
Sorry, but some things are too good to keep to yourself.
P.s. In our old band we had a song that paraphrased that immortal line, that's how much we ruled, and at the same time were complete idiots.
His name is Keith David and he pretty much is the personification of sex party.
Whenever my friend Alex sees the scene from Requiem for a Dream where his character (called 'Big Tim' BTW) macks the chick in exchange for bad horse drugs, he spazzes out and literally can't stop thinking about this giant gap toothed sex machine pummeling his better half with his throbbing black sausage. Maybe in the butt too, I'm not sure.
Anyway, the film ends, as I'm sure you know with (Maid) Marion doing an extreme sex party with another chick and a double sided dildo in front of loads of crazy businessmen type dudes who are alarmingly rowdy in what Big Tim describes as 'Ass to Ass'. It's pretty wrong.
But the bit that's about 300 million times scarier is earlier on when she goes round to his house for the 1st time and the T man unbuttons his flies and pops out his gargantuan johnson right next to her face. Then because she's a bit hesitant, he says.......
"I know it's pretty baby but I didn't get it our for air!"
WHAT THE FUCK? HE IS NOW PRESIDENT OF SEX PARTY.
Anyway, next time you watch that scene try to not imagine your girlfriend doing deep throat on that fucker whilst tears of pain stream from her eyes, you won't be able to. I have now passed the curse onto you.
Sorry, but some things are too good to keep to yourself.
P.s. In our old band we had a song that paraphrased that immortal line, that's how much we ruled, and at the same time were complete idiots.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
rad to the power of sick
This guy has pretty much managed to encapsulate the Sex Party ideals within one ebay listing.
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